Suicide Hotline
by Just-A-LittleBoyShy
Summary: Hello, this is the Suicide Hotline, Why are You Killing Yourself? Calming down a suicidal person isn't as easy as it sounds, especially when your Mikan, but somehow with her feisty personality she gets the job Now how does Koko fit into this story?


_**Chapter One  
Where's Waldo? **_

"Hello, this is the Suicide Hotline, why are you killing yourself?"

"Mikan, you know you shouldn't talk to a customer like that."

_ Goddamnit, not him again._

In the past she would have never imagined her future self to be put into the situation she was in now; forced to answer calls, not only from suicidal people, but from people like him. Mikan rolled her eyes, today was just not her day. First that damn bastard starves her, then her goddamn toilet floods; this place she calls 'home' is too small to be having the toilet flood. The toilet water got all over her clean laundry! She lived in a tiny room for god sake! That one bathroom she has can probably flood the entire room. Her 'boss' needed to get her a plumber, pronto.

"Kokoro, you know you really shouldn't be such a spoil sport, you're going to get wrinkles!" she replied in a sweet way. Mikan did not like dealing with this moron this early in the morning, especially since she hasn't eaten in almost 48 hours. No food _just_ because she spoke impolitely to a customer. "And who cares anyway Koko, they're calling because they want to kill themselves, if they succeed in doing so, it's not like I'll ever have to deal with them again."

"They're calling for your help! You're so cold Mi!" He seriously has one of the bubbliest voices, and my god, does it piss her off. Koko had been a reoccurring 'customer' lately, and not because he was suicidal, but because he was an annoying little shit.

"What do you know about me? You've only ever heard my voice!" She snapped at him. Talking to Koko is just like talking to her brother. They are both annoying little pricks that would talk her head off to no end. Before Mikan was placed in this place, her annoying little mongrel of a brother was just reaching her height; she wonders how tall he is now.

"You're a feisty one, aren't you Mikan?, he could hear Mikan growl on the other end of the line, "Relax, relax, you know I'm just joking! You're not having a very good day, are you?" Koko asked her calmly. She hated how he knew her so well despite never having a face-to-face conversation with her. It just pissed her off.

"No, I'm not; my day has been absolutely horrible! Do you know how bitchy I get on an empty stomach? That dick wouldn't give me any food because spoke "badly" to a customer, causing their death. I mean is he stupid? I've caused death more than once, and I've still gotten food!" She ranted to him. Koko had it easy. All he had to do was jump over the counter at McDonalds to get a lunch break. She didn't even have a counter, and she was locked inside this place she not only calls 'home', but 'work' as well.

Surprisingly Koko laughed, "You, a bitch? No way."

"Shut up, you dick. Now, I know you didn't call me to start a fight, so what do you want, Koko" She knows Koko, he likes to talk, but always about one thing in particular.

"Oh you know me so well, Mi", he squealed excitedly, "Okay, okay, then you should know what I want. I want to know if you had any interesting ones", he said gleefully over the honking horns on his side of the line.

She smiled at his happiness," Hmmm, let me think about it… Ah, yes today I had a very interesting one. Let me see, this call started out with "Why find Waldo?" She suppressed her laughter when she heard Koko giggle over the phone."I'm no kidding, Ko! This suicide call was the best one yet!"

**Saturday November 20th, 2010**

**1:55am**

**We would like to notify you that this call is being recorded.**

"Hello this is the Suicide Hotline, the names Mikan, please don't be Koko."

"Why find Waldo?"

"Oooh, A customer how may I help you sir?"

"Why find Waldo? Can't you tell he doesn't want to be found?"

"Sir excuse me, are you alright you're not on any drugs right...or maybe you are this is the suicide Hotline. (Damn)"

"What are you a stalker why are you following him he doesn't want to be found!"

"Sir…"

"Why, why, why?"

"Sir…"

"Why are you following him?"

"Sir would you please shut up and answer my fucking question!"

"…"

"Okay so why do you want to kill yourself, Mr. Why?"

"Because I do."

"Then why call if that's the only reason dipshit!"

"Because my wife stalks Waldo!"

*Bam*

"Ouch, giggle, Okay, okay, so why does she stalk Waldo?"

"…You know how Waldo's always hiding in his books."

"Yeah, go on."

"We'll, have you ever considered that Waldo doesn't want to be found?"

"I'm pretty sure he does that's why the books called 'Where's Waldo'"

"No, no, no, Waldo doesn't want to be found that's why he's hiding in such a big crowd he doesn't want you to find him!"

"Uh, dude, he's wearing a striped shirt and a red hat, I'm pretty sure he wants to be found."

"No, that's exactly what Nikki said. Please believe me, you're all wrong nobody would want to be found not even me, I'll kill myself before anyone trys to find me!"

"Okay calm down a suicide hotline isn't for someone to kill themselves but to stop them from killing themselves. And I think I may die of starvation if another one of you die."

"…Fine. We'll she has been doing nothing but arguing with me since she bought that book, saying 'Waldo is hot', 'Waldo wants to be found' and 'I can't find him, Randy', It's driving me insane, Nikki won't even talk to me anymore she says she won't speak a word to me until I agree with her decision about Waldo!"

"…giggle…..And what's that decision."

"That Waldo wants' to be found. And would you stop laughing!"

"Okay, I'll stop laughing, and I'll help you with your problem, just tell your wife to watch Viva La Bam episode 7 of Season 5 and then you'll get along just fine."

"Really?"

"Trust me, and don't kill yourself."

"Okay, thank you Hotline Lady!"

"You're Welcome."

**-Call Ended-**

**Saturday November 20th 2010**

**2:39 am**

"Mikan, you bitch! Now he's really going to kill himself!" She was slightly offended that Koko didn't believe in her "Hotline lady" skills. She has been at this for six years; she knows how to keep someone alive.

"Koko, I bet you've never seen Viva La Bam." Her voice was scarily nice to Koko. Nice Mikan = Scary Mikan.

"No", his voice wavered slightly.

"Then, I bet you don't know his relative Vito", she knew he didn't. Koko felt as though he could hear her smiling on the other side of the line.

"No", he gulped.

"Well in that episode they played a game called 'Where's Vito?' And let me tell you this, Vito is not the most attractive man in the world." She let out a soft laugh as she spoke. "So basically I'm destroying her image of handsome Waldo, by showing her what a realistic one looks like. Hey, VITO!" As he listened to her speak, he just blinked. _Did she just really?_

Finally he choked out laughter and said," Mikan you are such a bitch!"

"I know, I know, you've only told me about a million times." She laughed, "But you love me anyways don'tcha, Kokoro?"

"Yes, yes, and you love me too." Kokoro pushed himself up from the wall he was leaning against.

On the other side of the line, Mikans smile soon turned into a frown when she heard her stomach growl, "Man I'm hungry"

He laughed at her, "You're always hungry, Mi."

She giggled as she shook her head, "I want to go home, Ko", she told him sadly.

"I know, Mikan, I know." The line went quiet as he sighed, and looked down at his watch, "I'm sorry Mi, but I got to go, my lunch break is about to end"

"Alrighty, Koko, have a bloody good time working another shift at McDonalds."Mikan replied with fake delight.

"heh… Goodbye, Mikan."

Sunday November 21st, 2010

"Hello, this is the Suicide Hotline, please don't be Koko." Mikan answered the phone. After Koko called yesterday, not many customers rang through, so she decided to take a nap. But when she woke up, her boss was in her face. Not the best thing to wake up to.

On the other side of the line she could hear harsh breathing and cars honking. _They're on a busy street. Probably Koko._ Out of breath the person on the other side of the line yelled out, "Mikan, it's Koko." _Check mark for Mikan. _"I found it!"

She sighed as much as she liked this idiot; she wasn't up for the games they usually played. The way he was breathing into the phone, made it seem like he just ran a mile. "You found what?" She simply asked him.

"I found a way to get you out!" Hearing this she shot up out of her chair, almost hitting her head on the roof. _What?_ She was only joking every time she asked him to get her out. Oh my god, he was totally serious.

"You what!? What are you doing Kokoro! You're going to get yourself killed! My being stuck in isolation in a teeny tiny room shit; yeah it's serious." She felt as though she was going to hyperventilate. This moron is being so, so, "YOU BIG IDIOT!"

"Mi, calm down!" He was breathing at a steady pace now and his voice was now as giddy as it could get. "I know, I'm stupid, but this stupid just got you a ticket out of that place!" Mikan just blinked, oh my god, this idiot. "And don't worry, I won't get into any trouble, Mi, I've got some pretty good connections."

She squeezed her eyes shut then opened them again. He was serious. The idiot was serious. Holy Shit.

This motherfucker is serious.

**The End.  
**_"Hello, this is the Suicide Hotline, why are you killing yourself?"_

* * *

_Disclaimer_ - I own nothing but this very bad story line. If I offended you in any way I'm sorry.


End file.
